One suggestion I have is that you do minimal planning before you have your priorities sorted out. Try to refrain from obsessing over wedding style blogs or researching venues before you have a clear idea of what is important to you. I know you're excited to start wedding planning, but I think all the wedding hype can detract from figuring out what's important to you.
Know yourself
I think weddings should be a reflection of the type of couple you are, so take some time to reflect on your style and values. My fiance and I are both generally festive but low maintenance people. We knew from the start we wouldn't have an elaborate theme, whether it be a DIY rustic event, or a formal black tie affair. We're also not that big into style or design, so we decided to not spend too much energy on decoration details. What things define you as a couple?
I think weddings should be a reflection of the type of couple you are, so take some time to reflect on your style and values. My fiance and I are both generally festive but low maintenance people. We knew from the start we wouldn't have an elaborate theme, whether it be a DIY rustic event, or a formal black tie affair. We're also not that big into style or design, so we decided to not spend too much energy on decoration details. What things define you as a couple?
Reminisce
Ok, generally it's a pretty awful idea to compare your wedding to someone else's, but in this case I found it extremely helpful. If you're anything like me, you've been to about a dozen weddings in the past year or two. Think back to them. Recall the aspects of the weddings that have stayed with you, or made an impression. Things that come to mind when I think of recent weddings I've attended: drinking my face off at an open bar, abusing my photo booth rights, dancing to cheesy 90's music, spending time with friends, crying at the ceremony. Things I couldn't remember if you held a gun to my head: centerpieces, flowers, the wedding gown, color scheme, etc. As a wedding guest it's the experience that mattered to me, not decorations or style. Thinking back to other weddings I've been to made it easy for me to put things like flowers and centerpieces at the bottom of the list without thinking twice. It also helped me to bump the quality of food up on the list, since I remembered a few disappointing meals at wedding, and one phenomenal meal.
Construct two lists
Document the list of things that are and are not important to you with a "Top Priorities" and "Bottom Priorities" list. Keep them somewhere that is easy to refer back to and update. When I got stuck thinking of things to prioritize, I found it helpful to look at a wedding planning book or website, look at the chapter titles for main aspects of the wedding. I would imagine my wedding had the best, most expensive wedding cake/flowers/DJ/etc ever, then I would imagine my wedding had the simplest, lowest tier cake/flowers/DJ/etc. Sometimes there was a big difference in how I felt about having the "best" of something versus having the "worst" of something, both logically and emotionally. These were things I put on my top priority list. Sometimes the idea of having the biggest and best of something didn't strike a chord with me, so I'd put it on my bottom priorities list.
Ok, generally it's a pretty awful idea to compare your wedding to someone else's, but in this case I found it extremely helpful. If you're anything like me, you've been to about a dozen weddings in the past year or two. Think back to them. Recall the aspects of the weddings that have stayed with you, or made an impression. Things that come to mind when I think of recent weddings I've attended: drinking my face off at an open bar, abusing my photo booth rights, dancing to cheesy 90's music, spending time with friends, crying at the ceremony. Things I couldn't remember if you held a gun to my head: centerpieces, flowers, the wedding gown, color scheme, etc. As a wedding guest it's the experience that mattered to me, not decorations or style. Thinking back to other weddings I've been to made it easy for me to put things like flowers and centerpieces at the bottom of the list without thinking twice. It also helped me to bump the quality of food up on the list, since I remembered a few disappointing meals at wedding, and one phenomenal meal.
Construct two lists
Document the list of things that are and are not important to you with a "Top Priorities" and "Bottom Priorities" list. Keep them somewhere that is easy to refer back to and update. When I got stuck thinking of things to prioritize, I found it helpful to look at a wedding planning book or website, look at the chapter titles for main aspects of the wedding. I would imagine my wedding had the best, most expensive wedding cake/flowers/DJ/etc ever, then I would imagine my wedding had the simplest, lowest tier cake/flowers/DJ/etc. Sometimes there was a big difference in how I felt about having the "best" of something versus having the "worst" of something, both logically and emotionally. These were things I put on my top priority list. Sometimes the idea of having the biggest and best of something didn't strike a chord with me, so I'd put it on my bottom priorities list.
Accepting your priorities
Once you have your lists you need to come to terms with them. Look at your "top priorities." These things will be top-notch, exactly as you dreamed they would be. These are the items you will spend most of your time one planning, and will turn out great. As for the items on your "bottom priorities" list? They'll get done, and they'll turn out well, but they won't be perfect (and that's ok!).
Once you have your lists you need to come to terms with them. Look at your "top priorities." These things will be top-notch, exactly as you dreamed they would be. These are the items you will spend most of your time one planning, and will turn out great. As for the items on your "bottom priorities" list? They'll get done, and they'll turn out well, but they won't be perfect (and that's ok!).
In my next post I'll share part of my priority lists and explain why each item was important to us. I will also talk about how we emphasized or de-emphasized certain items in our WPP. In the mean time, I'm curious to know what things that are the most important to you in planning your wedding?
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